This is a shout-out to those who are “woke” or “awakening” – to those who dare to escape the norms or step outside the box! We see you, and we’re grateful for you.
What do we mean by “Coaching & Energy Healing for Awakening and Evolving Beings?”
We’re talking about anyone who suddenly realizes that they don’t like the way something is going in their life and they are willing to do something about it! Awakening beings are hungry for change, fulfillment, and they are brave enough to ask themselves whether they are really living up to their potential and living their best life.
Are you living your best life? Are you happy with the same routine of work, sleep, eat and repeat? Or are you just comfortable? Maybe even comfortably numb?
There’s no judgment coming from me, either way! Believe me! I was part of the rat race and did everything in life I was told was the American Dream – going to college, buying a house, getting married, slaving away at a desk to work up to having a well-paid corporate job… And not until after I had arrived at all that I “should” want in an “adult” life, did I ever ask myself if it’s what I truly wanted (rather than what others wanted for me). This unconscious creation had taken over my identity, values, and sense of personal power.
This is awakening: one day, you wake up and go, “Wow, I don’t like this pattern, and it needs to change.” Evolving is the next step…
What do you do with the awareness that you don’t like where you are? Some people flounder in a hundred directions at once, not able to really move forward at all, while others go fast and hard for a short period of time and then tucker out. Some people meander through trial and error…
Creating change is about sustainability and practice. It really doesn’t matter what aspect of your life you’re talking about, this concept applies. The hard and fast approach usually fails, and so does trying to do too many new things at one time. Fad diets, crazy-hard workout plans, new traditions/practices… You get where I’m going with this.
At this point in human evolution, a lot of us are waking up, and going, “I don’t like this,” and unfortunately, many are of us are getting stuck in this phase – where we don’t like the current situation but either don’t know what to do, how to prioritize what we want to do, or really struggle to feel we can affect any sort of change.
The point of this post is to explain:
- Whay we mean by Awakening & Evolving – done!
- Some of the stages in the Awakening process
- That anxiety and depression are common experiences along the process – and you are not alone!
In this post, we will get into Awakening & Evolving as two separate and inter-related subjects, starting with Awakening…
Awakening may mean different things to different people, but in general, awakening means increased consciousness. Awakening brings about a more expansive experience of life, freedom, inner-peace, fulfillment, and clarity of mind. Some people may experience awakening in stages, but awakening may also be a fluid, or even simultaneous, experience.
The Stages of Awakening
Stage ONE – Fitting In:
At this stage, we are typically going through the motions, carrying out societal expectations. We live in a world of “shoulds” and “musts.” We often sacrifice our needs for the wants of others, to fit in or gain approval from others. We typically identify heavily with our work or the roles we play (ex: “I am an accountant” or “I’m a stay-at-home mom”), and our self-worth tends to be tied very heavily to how well we (and others) think we play these roles.
We are focused on survival, getting through each day and/or maintaining a lifestyle we believe we must have. Our happiness is typically based on things outside of ourselves and not in the present moment (ex: “I will be happy when I get that promotion”), and happiness is the pursuit most of us select at this point. At this stage, we tend to see most things in life as either “good” or “bad,” and we are prone to rigid thinking that aligns with what we have been taught up to this point. We are typically buying into a “victim-abuser” experience whereby there are good and bad people, as control is a prevailing theme/challenge.
Run by our Ego, we tend to try to control other people, places and things – telling them how they “should” be or trying to change them, rather than changing ourselves. This is the stage where awakening begins, and it may begin with a passing feeling of uncertainty about the nature of life or “reality” or with a question like, “Is this all there is?”
Stage TWO – Questioning:
At this stage, we actually start paying attention to that question (or feeling) that appeared in the previous stage, and we begin to ask meaningful questions about life. We begin questioning the validity of what we have been taught up to this point – questioning whether laws, rules, or beliefs really fit us or make sense to us anymore. Things we used to like might not work for us anymore, like hobbies or communities we used to enjoy. There is typically a growing discomfort at this stage, as we might be asking ourselves, “What is wrong with me?” or “What is missing?”…
At this point, we might suddenly feel like the life we have isn’t ours or we don’t know ourselves anymore. We know we made choices up to this point, but we may begin to feel like it wasn’t even us that made the choices that got us to where we are (or they were “choiceless choices”). In this phase of confusion, we may blame others for the problems we experience (our family, the government, our jobs, etc.). The discomfort may cause us to begin questioning many, or all, areas of our life up to this point – our jobs, our family members, our friends, etc. We may feel powerless over our lives at this point, not realizing that our power comes from taking conscious responsibility for all aspects of our lives (and we are likely angered by the suggestion of that level of responsibility). We may move out of the experience of being a “victim” to that of a “survivor,” but we are likely still feeling a sense of powerlessness.
And even though we are questioning our identity at this stage, we are still clinging to it out of fear of the unknown (ex: “If I’m not an accountant, then what am I?”) and the conditioning that tells us we still need outside validation or acceptance. We don’t yet realize we are anything other than the human life we have built up to this point, but we begin asking ourselves questions like, “Who am I really?” or “Why am I here?” At this stage of awakening, overwhelm, anxiety and depression are extremely likely to occur. This is because fear and conditioning still have a strong hold on us, and our Ego fights hard to not give up control.
We will likely also experience an intense challenge (or a series of them) at this stage, because these experiences are attempting to nudge us into waking up more by continuing the questioning and pushing us into the inner-work necessary to heal. The ego will attempt to bring us back to the experience of “victimhood” due to these challenges; there is an internal struggle. How long we stay in this stage depends on how willing we are to take time with those limiting beliefs and attempt to break them down. We may begin to conceptually understand, at this stage, that happiness is an inside job, but we’re not sure yet how to put that into practice.
Stage THREE – Introspection:
At this stage, we may retreat from society a bit as we begin to learn more about who we are and break down the limiting beliefs we accumulated from others up to this point. It is an interesting time, indeed, as we may have previously thought we were trying to figure out who we are, we find now that we are also finding out who we are not. This is a stage of “unbecoming” – we start shedding the beliefs and rules that we learned from others, ones we unconsciously accepted as true in the past and took into ourselves. We now see that so much of what we thought we were was not us at all…
We might feel really relieved to have this newfound understanding of who we are and who we are not, but grief is also a really common experience at this point. We might feel like, “Wow! I wasted SO much time” or we might just be horribly sad about what we never got to have in life because of how asleep we used to be. At this stage, it can also be hard to see that most of the people around us are still asleep in the ways we used to be – not questioning what they were conditioned to believe, going through the motions, and playing into the paradigm of control and duality.
This stage can feel quite lonely. Judgement is likely to appear more predominantly at this stage as well. We likely see others as asleep and judge them as not being as “good” or as “evolved” as us. It is a less black-and-white thinking, but judgement remains. This thinking can create more separation when we focus on trying to wake others up. Others may feel this judgement and mirror it back at us, judging us in return (as “weird” or even “crazy”). Where we may have began questioning (our family, jobs, friends, etc.) in the previous stage, we may now be pushing them away.
This can be a really strange place because we can simultaneously feel that maybe everything is connected, and yet, we might also feel very disconnected from all other beings we know. We know we don’t fit in anymore, and we might fight with wanting to go back, out of a sense of loneliness. And because we feel lonely, we might struggle with our sense of worthiness since the externally-derived worthiness from previous stages is no longer available to us (or doesn’t work for us anymore).
This is the stage where people are most likely to begin trying a spiritual practice of some sort to help relieve the emotional pain they experience. We might try yoga, meditation or mindfulness practices. When we do this, we may start recognizing the relationship between our thoughts and our experiences and endeavor to control our thoughts. We will likely experience an internal struggle, almost like two sides of our mind are trying to speak/think, and we are arguing with ourselves – swinging between resistance and surrender (ego and higher self/spirit). It is really important at this stage not to fall into spiritual bypassing: this is kind of a “good vibes only” mentality whereby various methods may be used to avoid/escape the pain and suffering of being human. Bypassing only delays your growth – remaining issues must be faced head-on!
Interestingly, this stage can actually seem to be many stages or be experienced as many separate awakenings. This is because your higher self is in the process of integrating. You have awakenings, or new levels of awareness, of your multidimensional nature. Each time, you may think you have arrived, only to find yourself back in the throws of unconscious experience again and again…
Stage FOUR – Resolution:
This is the stage at which the Higher Self has taken predominance over your Ego in everyday life. The internal struggle dies down, and a sense of knowing overshadows (or enlightens) your doubts or fears. At this stage, the predominant experience is deep inner-peace and knowing and believing in who you really are and your purpose.
Some may say that your ego has died at this stage, but I don’t think the ego dies. The ego is inherent to the human experience, and as such, the resolution comes about through integration and love, rather than a death and hatred. Our Higher Self is able to look upon the Ego with great compassion, understanding, and love. There is a level of acceptance that the Ego comes with the human experience and has a purpose of its own as well.
At this stage, you have finished shedding the beliefs that don’t support you and help you grow. What remains are the beliefs that support a growing sense of harmony and unity in all things. Surrender is the predominant experience – faith, trust, and compassion prevail over fear, control and judgement. Also, you likely have either found a job that aligns with your authentic self or you have made peace with what you do for your livelihood.
You now understand how your past and present came to be and do not feel like a captive of it; rather, you take responsibility for the entirety of your life. You see there is no such thing as victimhood and you don’t blame others for any part of your experience. At this stage, you also understand and experience the power of being in the present moment, and you no longer choose to live in your thoughts of the past or the future. You have stopped the pursuit of happiness because you have discovered it is in the present moment and internally-derived.
You have also released the desire to gain your self-worth from anyone outside of yourself. Instead, you experience deep, unconditional self-love. And while you may still be alone, or mostly alone, you likely no longer (or very rarely) experience the feeling of loneliness, as you begin to feel the experience of “oneness” and “unity” with all that is. Relationships are improving and new people who come into your life are better aligned with who you now know yourself to be.
At this point, you have also stopped trying to change anyone else or make them “wake up.” And interestingly, others around you likely begin awakening, almost as if (and maybe it is related) they are awakening because you have surrendered to the process rather than trying to control it – because your focus is internal, rather than external. Helping others arises out of love, joy and inspiration, rather than out of a feeling that you need to help or “fix” anyone else. You know you are not responsible for anyone else’s journey or experience, but rather, you have the ability to help them empower themselves.
Also, spiritual practices that may have been developed in the previous stage are no longer practiced out of sense that you need to get somewhere or get rid of something, but rather because this practice feels really good. Maybe you are no longer seeking escape from your human experience through these practices, but rather using them to ground your newfound sense of self into this human experience in deeper and more meaningful ways. It is a natural experience, and it may provide you immense amounts of information, insight, and peace.
Gratitude and appreciation for life, in all forms, is the most common state of being at this stage. This doesn’t mean you will never have moments of other experiences. You still experience the full range of emotions, but they no longer control you, as you have mastered the ability to witness and respond (rather than react) to your experiences and emotions. You are still you, so authentically you, and you experience a more easy-going approach to life.
You are beginning the process of creating your own “heaven on earth” and you’re capable of attracting what you want in life.
Stage FIVE – Creator Consciousness:
This stage is supposedly absolute enlightenment. I cannot write very much about it because it is not yet part of my personal experience.
It is my understanding that this is a deepening of the aspects of stage four, and the ability to create deepens and strengthens. Many who claim to be in this stage experience themselves as the entirety of “God” rather than a piece or expression of “God.”
Again, I won’t write more about this stage because I don’t yet know the Truth of the matter when it comes to this stage, and so I will not profess to know it. I will only claim that I know I have not yet reached this stage of awakening for myself. I feel no judgment or shame that I have not yet arrived at this stage because I am entirely contented in my current stage of consciousness, and I trust the process will continue to unfold, in divine time.
I want to reiterate that some aspects of each of the stages may blend together… It isn’t going to look the same for everyone. I also want to point out that it’s less important that you identify “where” in the process you are (or others are) – the label is entirely unimportant. What is important is that you know you’re not alone in this awakening process, that you are on a journey that is ever-evolving, and you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.
As you move through your life experiences, you will likely see aspects of returning to earlier stages (these are like mini-awakenings) at some points. There is nothing wrong with this! It doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong! It just means some aspect of you is still awakening and evolving!
You may have noted that the experience of awakening begins with an awareness that something doesn’t feel quite right… and this often brings about anxiety and/or depression that may persist through the first two or three stages.
I wanted to write about this because many people who are in the beginning stages of awakening, experiencing that emotional turmoil, may not even realize that they are beginning a beautiful and amazing journey of waking up! And while much of the work is done on and through the self, it doesn’t have to be done entirely alone.
This is why I am doing what I am doing as an Intuitive Emotional Wellness Coach. I am not here to fix anyone or make them wake up. I am here as a “way-shower” – someone who has moved past the beginning stages of awakening and can now offer a template that empowers others to continue on their journey. And I write this now to ensure you that wherever you are along this journey is both exactly where you are meant to be and entirely valid. And in fact, you are not alone.
According to merriam-webster dictionary, to evolve is “to gradually become clearer or more detailed.” Synonyms include the words, “develop, elaborate, unfold” and the like.
This is exactly what the awakening process is – the evolution of human consciousness. As we are awakening, we are becoming more clear and detailed about who and what we are (and what we are not). We are unfolding who we truly are and separating illusion from truth.
Awareness is the first step to anything.
Being aware of what doesn’t feel right to us… Being aware that we can ask ourselves better questions… Being aware that we can make different choices.
After awareness comes the decision to evolve.
So now that you are aware, what will you do about it? How will you increase your clarity on this? How will you unfold this situation?
Sometimes we are very ineffective in this part of the process… For example, we may become aware that we have a pattern of picking mates who are “bad” for us, but a lot of the time, our response to this is to shut down in some way (ex: ‘I will never trust someone again” or “I will never let myself be vulnerable again”).
Shutting down like this is the answer that comes from the Ego. The Ego wants to keep us trapped in fear and separation. This decision keeps our growth stunted, delaying our evolution. The Ego is recognized by its rigid thinking, fear-based decision-making, and rushing attitude/energy. You don’t have to “solve” this “problem” – you merely have to be aware of it, hold that awareness, believe you have a choice in the matter, and watch what happens next.
A lot of us rush into decisions about how we are going to solve our unwanted patterns, only to find that no matter what we do, we fall into the pattern again and again – or we only make very small improvements over time. This is because as soon as we make that decision, we release the awareness, thinking that something else is going to resolve the pattern.
Awareness is like a muscle that’s likely been atrophying all of your life.
Mindfulness and awareness take practice, persistence, and a whole lot of love.
So what now? Are you ready to evolve? Are you ready to continue your path of awakening in a new and empowered way?
I sure hope so!
I’m here for you. You’re not alone.
You can do it. I believe in you.
Love & Light to You,